What is Misbehaviour? And other related thoughts

What is Misbehaviour?
This question has always been salient in my line of work. I have quite a bit to say about it.
(For my day job I work with children in an Elementary school who have disabilities.)

I have learned that all behaviour is meaningful and usually communicative. Children are never “behaviour problems” however like us adults, all children do present “problem behaviours.” I prefer this term over “misbehaviour.” In the same way that we encounter puzzling math problems, so too there are problem behaviours that we’d like to get our minds around as teachers, and see if there might be a solution.

It’s challenging to put a finger on exactly what criteria define a ‘problem behaviour’. Behaviour expectations can change from context to context, relationship to relationship, person to person, even day to day. Rather than get hung up on the precise definition, in my job I am governed more heuristically by the following guideline:

A ‘problem behaviour’ is an act that disrupts the learning or wellbeing of others or of the agent himself.

This is a start.
With this guideline it’s clear that everybody, including the teacher, exhibits problem behaviours to varying degrees throughout the course of a day. We have thereby normalized ‘problem behaviour’ and begun to remove the stigma of ‘misbehaviour’. I always try to ask, “What is the function of this behaviour?” What is the agent (i.e. acting student, or adult!) trying to communicate?
This question is THE KEY to finding an appropriate solution. Once we know the function of the behaviour it’s a matter of fulfilling that function in a more appropriate way.

Interestingly, when I follow this process I often see that the exhibiting problem behaviour is being encouraged or ‘reinforced’ by the very consequences teachers are trying to use as a deterrent!
I'll give an over-simplified example to illustrate this:
Kristy is in grade 1. Every time she has to do journal, she takes forever to write. The teacher reminds her again and again to get to work, and Kristy grows more agitated. Eventually Kristy reaches a point where she lashes out, hurting another student. She is then sent to the office for this dangerous outburst.
In this simplistic example, the problem behaviour is Kristy’s stalling and eventually lashing out. The function of this behaviour is to avoid doing journal. The behaviour is being *encouraged* by the teacher’s response, since sending Kristy to the office as a consequence means she does not have to do her journal (for the time being at least), and thus the behaviour has successfully fulfilled its function.
The teacher’s response has served to encourage the problem behaviour, not deter it.

What’s a better response?
In this scenario, the function of the behaviour should be more precisely pinpointed: What about journal is Kristy trying to avoid? Is it too difficult for her to think up a journal topic? Does the teacher expect too much writing? Is it drawing a picture that Kristy doesn’t like?
Often there can be a simple adaptation of the assignment to solve the problem, such as decreasing the length of Kristy’s written output and scribing the remainder of her journal ideas.
(On a personal note, when a question of fairness is raised by other children I often tell students, “I am not fair, but I try to be good.” I often explain what the adage "life is not fair" means. Depending on the age of the student I try to explain further that, “fairness is not everybody getting the same thing but everybody getting what they need.” The kids I work with always understand where I'm coming from accept it.)

Here are a few additional thoughts I have about “misbehaviour”
- Not every ‘problem behaviour’ needs fixing. Sometimes kids just need the space to be their quirky selves. (I'm a little disturbed by our societal obsession with the DSM; labeling more and more 'behaviour clusters' as aberrent is an easy path to lose contact with the beauty and mystery of intra- and inter-personal human diversity).
- On this note, I will always see a person, not a label.
- Does a behaviour that bothers me really qualify as a ‘problem behaviour’? It’s easy for teachers to confuse their own preferences with genuine classroom and student wellbeing.
- Are my behaviour expectations clear to the students?
- Am I being realistic and sensitive to student diversity in my behaviour expectations? (For example some students come from homes where making eye contact with an ‘authority’ is rude!)
- I really liked Helen’s suggestion in class and again here to develop a ‘classroom expectations’ contract with each group of students. I would want to revisit this with students and let it evolve through the school year.
- I was also surprised to read Helen’s comments on forgiveness. I am in total agreement with her; I believe forgiveness is poorly understood and therefor underused by teachers. I always encourage kids to not say, “that’s okay,” when someone apologizes for hurting them. “Hurting others is not okay,” I explain. “But you can choose to forgive them.” Forgiveness means even though someone has mistreated me, I choose to continue in relationship with them.
- Students with more regular, habitual problem behaviours need to feel deeply from me that I care for them no matter what. I will always differentiate between who they are as a person I care for and what their behaviour is that I do not like.
- I am more interested to see ‘internal change’ than external or behavioural change. I am not interested in ‘fixing’ any student behaviours. I would like students to develop into the beautiful persons they are by helping them find their own valid reasons to make better behavioural choices.
- It's far more useful and empowering to help develop self-awareness and self-control in students than to impose external controls. (For example I always discuss the 'feelings and behaviour volcano' with students who exhibit habitual problem behaviours, to help them see the pattern in themselves and become aware of the 'rumbling emotions').
- I will try to speak positively about behaviours I’d like to see rather than negatively telling students not to do things I don’t want to see.

And that’s all I have to say about that for now. (Amazing I know! It has an ending!)

-Mark Northey